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Dear Worried,
Sorry to disappoint you. If more people were into Ask
Beth, I'd probably keep up with it more. But since I've
only had two people bug me about it in the last 10 months,
I haven't been terribly motivated. You know? I'm trying
to "turn over a new leaf" now, though, whatever
that means, exactly. I always pictured it meaning a
leaf that had fallen from a tree and was lying on the
ground and someone walked by and flipped it over. But
I think "leaf" in this sense means "sheet
of paper." It is as though I am turning a page,
and the new page is blank, and on it will reside many
Ask Beth letters and their corresponding witty responses.
I don't think you should worry about your boyfriend.
Sometimes people rent movies when they're bored or lonely,
and there weren't any movies in the video store starring
you, so he just picked the next best thing (though I
haven't heard anything good about Fair Game). At least
it wasn't porn, right?
My boyfriend has a very similar Cindy issue. I don't
really see what's so great about Cindy. Usually, when
I look at models, I can see why they're models, but
the features of Cindy's face just sort of disassociate
from each other whenever I look at her. She seems essenceless,
somehow - at least physically. I am sure she is very
smart and nice, despite lack of singing talent. Anyway,
apparently, to my guy, she is full of essence and sex
appeal to boot. I don't particularly like staying with
him at his parents' house, because there is a huge picture
of Cindy in a bathing suit on his bedroom wall, and
I can't help but compare myself to her.
So here's what you should do: Have him take sexy pictures
of you. Then you can blow the most flattering one up
to mega huge size and buy a cheap frame for it and post
it to his bedroom wall. Do it for me, okay? I'd do it,
too, but I don't want to look at a huge poster of myself.
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