03.13.2000

Dear Beth,

I am a 20 year old college student. I am 5'7" tall and I weigh 211 pounds, which medically makes me "obese" with a BMI of 33%. I am so unhappy and I feel worthless sometimes, only because of my being overweight.

I have an underactive thyroid gland [hypothyroidism disease] which adds to losing weight being difficult. I have the chance now to start a new drug called Xenical to lose weight in combination with a healthier diet and exercise...BUT this drug can make me @&$* my pants if I eat fatty foods, or do any of the following: "oily spotting, gas with discharge, urgent need to go to the bathroom, oily or fatty stools, an oily discharge, increased number of bowel movements, and inability to control bowel movements."

What should I do? Is it worth it?

Thank you,
Phat in Jersey

Dear Jersey,

My gut answer? No, it's not worth it. Think about everything you do now and how all of it will be affected if you have to be self-conscious about your bowels all the time. Once (this is kind of gross, but so what), when I had a sinus infection, a doctor prescribed a drug I'd never taken before. I only had to take it for five days, but those five days were hellish, because everything I ate made me poo. I had felt better with the sinus infection than I did while taking this medication. Ultimately, it made me not want to eat, because I knew what would happen if I did. It looks like that's Xenical's goal: to make you stop eating fatty foods by causing your body to reject digestion of them. But fat pops up in a whole lot of foods; indeed, bodies need a certain amount of fat to stay healthy.

I'm not terribly knowledgeable about medicine, though, as may be evident. Have you talked about taking Xenical with your doctor? Perhaps those symptoms only apply in some cases. Because you have a medical condition (and I think Xenical might be a prescription drug), you definitely need to speak with a doctor before you make your decision. If you don't think you can lose weight without supplemental help, discuss other options as well. You deserve to be informed of what's available to help you.

All of that said, I understand how you're feeling about yourself. Really, I think everyone feels or has felt worthless at times. At one point a few years ago, I used to wake up in the middle of the night and curse my reflection in the mirror. I felt like I was so repulsive, I didn't deserve to exist. Obviously, I was being silly, but I didn't see it like that at the time.

The one thing I think really helps when you're feeling insecure about yourself is getting active. Explore your interests start doing things that look cool to you. Maybe you like to bowl or ride your bike or take walks around your neighborhood. Maybe you're lazy like me and don't, though. Even if the activities that interest you aren't particularly active, doing almost anything with yourself other than slouching in front of a TV will give you more confidence. Write, paint, go out dancing, make dumb home movies, take a photography class. Start having fun. Once you're self-confident, you'll hopefully either be more able to commit to losing weight or be happy with yourself as you are. Good luck.

Dear Beth,

Why do British people have such bad teeth? I'm not even talking about the bad hygiene thing, I know that those other countries are filthy, but why are the shapes of all their teeth mangled like that one James Bond bad guy?

Confused in California

Dear Californian,

Way back in the day, someone had bad teeth. He dropped to earth from the sky and said, "Hear ye, ladies! I got me some bad teeth. Wanna get busy?" One lonely lady, who had been shunned by her family for having been born with bad teeth, walked over to the man and said, "Yes, yes, me lad! I would like to get busy, please." Snaggly-toothed children resulted. The children mated with people. More humans with bad teeth happened. Then they all moved to Britain and continued to have sex. That's pretty much it.


Write to beth@dorkist.com with your shameful secrets and anything else that's been tearing your pretty little head apart.