Dear Becky,

You can't help it. You are a dumb freshman, and you can't disguise this fact. Perhaps by the end of the year you will be better able to conceal your status, but by then you may have already developed a reputation. For instance, you may become known to your desirable frat friends as "that hot blonde freshman" or "that repulsive freshman girl" or "that freshman chick who puked on my couch." But right now, you are simply a freshman, and everyone knows it.

Still, I guess it's better to blend in than to stick out. I recommend wearing black polyester boot-cut pants with an unoriginal, ill-fitting tank top from a department store. You could also wear jeans with the tank top and blend in reasonably. For shoes, go for chunky, and make sure they make you appear at least three inches taller than you actually are.

Now the important part. Go with friends and don't be scared. Talk to new people. They want to meet you as much as you want to meet them (unless you're obnoxious or really smashed). Have fun. Dance. But get your drinks for yourself, and keep in mind that all guys have only one thing on their minds (besides beer).